those d's would be a lot perkier if she was less quitterier.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Will ya look at the double d's on this quitter.
those d's would be a lot perkier if she was less quitterier.
Do you know who didn't quit? These guys.
Zeppelin = awesome
Beam = quitter
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Beam is a quitter
I’ve only known Beem (Beam? Bihm? Beaym?) a couple days. Nine to be exact. I have learned over those nine days however, that it all makes sense that she’s ditching the gang at 536 Broadway. She’s a quitter. I should know, I sit next to her, where a former quitter used to sit. And where a former quitter before him sat. She quits. I don’t think it’s an epidemic of the south side, I think she is, at her deepest core, a quitter. I’ve seen her planting summer squash in Farmville and not finish the job. I have seen her pick up the phone to put the Beam (Byeam? Beium? Boom-Boom?) smack down on some account schnook she’s about to tear a new one, and then abandon her tirade half way through and, well, quit. Last Tuesday, I was privy to a moment where she began to take off her knock-off Ann Taylor flat to scratch her left ankle. Take a wild fucking guess where that left ankle scratch went. She. Quit. She is perhaps one of the greatest quitters in the history of quitters, and, as of Thursday at 5:59 pm, she joins other illustrious quitters in history, including:
Gary Hart
Lenny Dykstra
Scott Baio from Joannie Loves Chachi
Lucas Bly
Bruce Jenner
Loomis Fargo, Well’s lesser-known brother who quit to start a stagecoach business
Teamo, the fourth Three Stooge who quit before shooting began in 1935
The guy who was supposed to be keeping checkie on Abraham Lincoln at Ford Theatre
Oprah
Monday, March 22, 2010
Remember when Beam stole all our coats.
Then she used them to keep herself warm while the rest of us froze our butts off?
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